Monday, 08 September 2008
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Currently Listening
Across The Universe [Deluxe Edition]
By Original Soundtrack
It Won't Be Long
see relatedMy drama for the day...
So, here’s my drama for the day:
A month ago my dad came down and took me to lunch for my birthday. We started talking wedding details and I told him that I had invited all his brothers and sisters (like he asked) to my wedding except one because I had no way of contacting her and I asked him if he had any information for her and if I should even invite her considering I haven’t seen or spoken to her in 12 years or so. He said yes, that out of courtesy he wanted me to invite her.
So, I sent her an invitation. It was addressed to her, her husband and 2 other guests.
I got an e-mail from her today. She said, she was happy for my marriage, that she had lost the invitation and reply card (which in my opinion states it’s not that important) and that they will be there. Her whole family…she named some and stated they were her sons and wives and grandchildren, for a grand total of 14 people.
What the heck?!?!
I replied very politely:
“Hi Tia!
It’s great to hear back from you
and I’m very excited that you all want to comeUnfortunately, the number on the RSVP is the number of people that we have accounted for. I’m sorry L
So, only the number on the RSVP card can come. (which is 4 people)
I still hope to see you! J
Love,Leslie”
Then I proceeded to make a phone call to my father. (She’s the aunt who’s last name should have been “Drama” so I had to tell him just in case) Then he says, “Why can’t she bring them all, they ARE family?” I told him that I didn’t know them and we certainly had not accounted for that many people. I know her and her husband (this is the second one) and I don’t know any of those people she’s bringing with her. Then he tells me that there are going to be people at my wedding that I don’t know—for instance Aaron’s family. I reminded him that I’m marrying Aaron and it’s okay if I don’t know ALL his family. The point being his parents weren’t inviting people they didn’t really know. I also reminded him that he wasn’t really paying for any of the wedding and then he said that he would pay. I also told him that there is only room for 340 people and we’ve already invited like 420 or so. THEN he sort of understood. Dad made me cry, mostly in anger because he just kept arguing with me.
I just don’t get it. Maybe it’s the Hispanic culture…who says ALL your family has to be at your wedding, even the people you haven’t spoken to in over a decade? I thought this day was reserved for the people who have loved, cared, supported, rejoiced, and been a part of your life.
Is it selfish to think that her e-mail was ridiculous? That I think what my dad had to say was ridiculous?
I’m grateful she sent an e-mail and asked if it would be an inconvenience but come on…
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Comments (6)
Planning a wedding almost makes the occasion worth a flight to Vegas! If you have a limited amount of seats, you have to do what you do. That may mean immediate family and maybe their children. This can be a great chance for reconciliation so gatherings arent such a bad thing so, I see why your dad is trying to be a peacemaker.
It will all work out.
Jim and I married at the court house, I call it our five miniute wedding. I was given the opportunity to have a 20 year renewal and I told my family, NO WAY! Jim being a pastor, i have seen so many nerves on end; I prefer to never be in those shoes.
God bless you honey and keep looking up.
believe me, its Hispanic culture. I know. haha.. My brother went through the SAME thing. You are supposed to invite everyone - even if you've never met them in your life. haha.. crazy.
Weddings are so hectic...especially if you are doing most of the planning yourself. Some girls have their Moms do everything and they just kind of plug themselves in toward the end. But it is NEVER easy and always a headache and you will ALWAYS tick somebody off. So, you just do what you think is right. Pray about it. Maybe there is a "reason" why you should or should not have those extra people come. God only knows....literally! But, in the end, you and Aaron will be man & wife!!!!! So it's all good!!!!
in my culture too people invite folks that you don't even know!!!!! It's hard!!!! I'm scared to get married just because of that! (well, no not really ....)
*Stress!* however, you handled that really well I think ... a lot of grace! I applaud you ....
I wouldn't worry about it too much. You probably have a TON of other stuff to fret over. I think it's rude to assume that you can just bring as many people as you want to a wedding. More people costs more money, unfortunately.
@UTAlan - Yea, for real. It all worked out though.
My dad was a little more understanding, when I talked to him later. I did get an e-mail response from her saying she WOULD NOT be at my wedding but I'm pretty okay with that. Not feeling even the littlest guilty that I can't accomodate her.